Been There. Done That. Now What?
05/07/2006 - What Do You Expect?
Life is full of disappointments, isn't it? And the longer I live the more I realize that many of our disappointments come from failed expectations. We expect a situation to turn out one way and when it doesn't we get disappointed and if we're not careful we can become angry, bitter, and disillusioned.
Last Sunday I warned you that you'd probably get disappointed sometime this week or maybe even before the end of the day. Did that happen to anybody? Well, it happened to me. In fact, I was disappointed before I even left the parking lot of the YMCA.
My 14 year-old son, Jordan, was in a baseball tournament last weekend up in Allentown and on Saturday his team won both their games 10-0 and 15-2. They demolished their opponents. They played great baseball. And because of that they earned the number one seed in the tournament which meant that they didn't have to play at 8 o'clock the next morning. Instead, their game was at 10:15 a.m. against the worst team in the tournament.
Jennifer and I knew we wouldn't be able to make that game, but we were planning to drive up to Allentown for the second game and then of course for the championship game at 6 o'clock. And that would be fun. It was a beautiful day for baseball, we enjoy the parents on the team, and were really looking forward to it.
Until we called Jordan as were leaving the parking lot. And we discovered that his team had lost the 10:15 game to the worst team in the tournament. The team they had beaten 10-0 the day before had just beaten them 6-4 and so they were packed up, in the car, and on their way home. Tournament over! We were stunned and disappointed! That's not what we expected to happen.
When I think of disappointment and failed expectations I think of a string of vacations we had a number of years ago. It started when we were up in Portland, Maine, on an August vacation at Old Orchard Beach. And on the evening of the first full day of our trip we were sitting at a red light on Route 1 when all of a sudden we were rear ended by a car going fifty miles an hour driven by an elderly woman who claimed she never saw us.
Our little Mazda was totaled. Jennifer was in the front seat, eight months pregnant with Jordan, and Chelsea was two years-old strapped in a car seat in the back. Fortunately, everyone was all right in both cars and after spending a night in the hospital we ended up renting a car and staying the rest of the week, although I spent most of the time on the phone talking to insurance agents. Thankfully what could have been a tragedy just ended up being a big disappointment.
We thought our next vacation would be better, of course. But we ended up in Ocean City, New Jersey, during the week of the perfect storm. Did you ever see the movie The Perfect Storm? Well, we were in it, not the movie, but the storm. And much of Ocean City ended up underwater that week. Not fun when you have two little kids who want to play on the beach! That was a disappointment.
Our next vacation was to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. What could go wrong in beautiful Myrtle Beach in May? A hurricane! That's what went wrong. And May isn't even hurricane season! And so we left early to come home after spending another week in the rain. Another disappointment. That's why people check with us to find out when we're going on vacation each year. They know that those are the weeks to avoid! That's why our kids don't want to go on vacation with us! They're tired of being the "big story" on the news every time we go on vacation!
Life is full of disappointments that mostly come from unfulfilled expectations. We don't go on vacation expecting a hurricane or a car accident or the perfect storm. We don't go to school expecting to fail. We don't start a job expecting to be fired. We don't get married expecting to be divorced. We don't have children expecting them to be a heartache to us. We don't go to the doctor's expecting a terminal diagnosis. But all these things happen in life and it seems to make no sense.
That's what Solomon has been struggling with throughout the book of Ecclesiastes. And in his journal he's recorded his struggle for all the world to see. This morning we continue our series called Been There. Done That. Now What? with a teaching I've called "What Do You Expect?"
If you have a Bible turn with me to Ecclesiastes 10. Ecclesiastes 10 is one of the hardest chapters in the book. It's filled with cultural situations that aren't easy for us to understand and a bunch of Hebrew wordplays that are difficult to translate into English. It doesn't seem to have any real flow like the other chapters. But we're going to do our best to figure it out.
For instance, look at verse 1, As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. I hate when those flies drown in my bottle of Preferred Stock! Don't you? Honestly now, when was the last time you found a dead fly in your bottle of Chanel Number 5? I had a fly in my office this week and that was annoying, but I haven't found too many in my cologne.
But apparently there were flies in the ointment in Solomon's day, before safety packaging, and they gave off a pretty bad odor. And he uses it as an example to say that one little thing can ruin something of value and beauty. One little mistake can blemish an entire life. We get a steady diet of that on the news when we see well respected people in government, in the clergy, in law enforcement, in medicine, make one mistake that tarnishes a reputation that took a lifetime to build.
That's what happened to Solomon's father, King David. He should have been on the battle field with his men, but instead he stayed back at the palace and took a walk on the roof and lusted after another man's wife. And although God forgive him for his sin with Bathsheba, his kingdom was never the same after that.
Be careful how you live. A little folly can outweigh wisdom and honor. Look at verse 2,The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left. That's not a political statement by the way. Nor is it a put down of left handed people. Instead, in the Bible the right hand is often a picture of the presence of God.
Psalm 16:8 says, "the Lord is at my right hand." Psalm 121:5 says, "the Lord is your shade at your right hand." In other words, the wise person moves to the right. He or she moves in the direction of God. While the fool moves away from God in his or her heart. The word "fool" that Solomon uses in this chapter in Hebrew literally means someone who is arrogant, stubborn, unteachable, and spiritually dull.
And all that's apparent even in the way fools walk down the street. Look at verse 3, Even as fools walk along the road, they lack sense and show everyone how stupid they are.
Solomon says, "I can spot a fool just by the way they walk." Walking along the road is a metaphor for how they live life. You can tell a fool by their behavior. Fools get into all kinds of trouble. They can't seem to connect their actions with consequences and so often they act out of impulse without thinking about what might happen to them or to others.
I'm convinced that one of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children is an understanding that their behavior has consequences. It's so tempting to want to protect our kids from failing or getting into trouble. But they need to from time to time to learn that actions have consequences.
Fools are dangerous people to be around. In Proverbs 17:12 Solomon says, "Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool bent on folly." Anybody here want to go one on one with a 450 pound grizzly bear protecting her babies? Of course not. But better that than hanging with fools. Today we would say, "Don't hang out with the wrong crowd. They'll get you in trouble every time."
Next Solomon takes us into the king's court when he says in verse 4, If a ruler's anger rises against you, do not leaveyour post; calmness can lay great errors to rest.
That's great counsel inside or outside the king's court. If your boss blows a gasket, duck, keep your head down, stay in your cube, and if you get drawn into the battle don't lose your cool.
Solomon put it this way in Proverbs 15:1, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. That really works folks. Rudyard Kipling starts out his famous poem "If" by saying, "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you … then you'll be a man, my son." That's wisdom living.
Now in verse 5 Solomon addresses our expectations. Don't expect life to be fair. It isn't. Look at verse 5, There is an evil I have seen under the sun, the sort of error that arises from a ruler: 6Fools are put in many high positions, while the rich occupy the low ones. 7I have seen slaves on horseback, while princes go on foot like slaves.
"I don't get it." Solomon says, "Life makes no sense. But what do you expect? Sometimes fools get promotions and princes get demotions." You know what's he's talking about. You see it all the time at work. It's political. It's not what you know. It's who you know that counts. Someone gets the raise or the promotion that you thought you deserved. You see it in school. You study your head off for a test or work hard on a paper and someone else gets a better grade than you do. And then brags that they didn't even take a book home or that they got their research paper off the internet.
When I read this passage I thought of a recent issue of Parade magazine that listed the salaries of various workers throughout America in a cover story called "What We Earn." And as I was reading it I found myself getting angry because it made absolutely no sense to me when you compared the salary of an actor with a teacher or that of a baseball player with a pastor. I hit better than.300, don't I? I showed it to Jordan and said, "Keep playing baseball!"
But what do you expect? Life isn't fair and at times life seems so random. Look at verse 8, Whoever digs a pit may fall into it; whoever breaks through a wall may be bitten by a snake 9Whoever quarries stones may be injured by them; whoever splits logs may be endangered by them. 10If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success. 11If a snake bites before it is charmed, there is no profit for the charmer.
Accidents happen, even to the wise. Digging pits, breaking down walls, quarrying stones, splitting logs, these were all common jobs in Solomon's day. Today we might say driving cars, cutting grass, going shopping, playing sports. There's an element of risk to everything we do. No matter how wise we are we are one drunk driver away from tragedy. So much of life is out of our control. And no one knows what's coming. We didn't expect to end up in the hospital on a vacation in Maine.
Look at verse 12, Words from the mouth of the wise aregracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips. 13At the beginning their words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness—14and fools multiply words. People do not know what is coming—who can tell them what will happen after them? 15The work of fool's wearies them; they do not know the way to town.
Solomon continues this contrast between the fool and the wise. Even though life isn't fair, even though life seems so random, it's still wise to be wise. And wise men and wise women measure their words and speak with grace. But fools just babble on and on and make no sense.
In Proverbs 17:28 Solomon puts it this way, Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
"The work of fools," he says, "wearies them. They don't know the way to town." In other words, they don't get anywhere. They're big talkers, they got big plans, they got big dreams, but that's it. They can't put feet on any of them. In our culture we might say, "He's full of it" or something to that effect!
Look at verse 16, Woe to you, O land whose king was a servant and whose princes feast in the morning. 17Blessed are you, O land whose king is of noble birth and whose princes eat at a proper time—for strength and not for drunkenness.
Nations, companies, teams, organizations, churches are not always led by the best people. But what do you expect? Sometimes fools end up in leadership positions. And when they do, Solomon says, woe to those they are leading. Woe to the nation whose leader was a servant. The word servant here can also be translated "child." In other words, the leader is unqualified and immature and hasn't been properly trained. So he uses his position of power for personal gain.
His princes feast in the morning. In other words, they're also incompetent and undisciplined, living large at the expense of the people. And there are plenty of nations in our world today whose problems can be traced directly to this kind of lousy leadership and the people suffer for it. It's another expression of the injustice we see in our world.
On the other hand, blessed is the nation whose leaders are qualified and competent, who take their job seriously and truly serve the people, who eat and drink not to get drunk, but to get strength to carry out their God given responsibilities.
Fools have an excuse for everything and make all kinds of promises, but don't follow through. Look at verse 18, Through laziness, therafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.
"We'll get to it tomorrow. What's the big deal?" But tomorrow never comes. Instead, "let's party!" Verse 19, A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything.
Money isn't the answer for everything. That's what Solomon's been saying for ten chapters now. But the fool thinks it is.
Verse 20,Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird of the air may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.
My translation of verse 20, "Don't curse the pastor!" Be careful what you say and to whom you say it. Again, fools don't know when to keep their mouths shut. This is the verse where we get the expression "a little bird told me." Be careful what you say to people who say things like, "Have you heard?" or "I really shouldn't be telling you this." or "So and so told me to keep this a secret, but I don't think she'd mind if I told you." Not a safe person to share your heart with. Someone said, "A secret is something you only tell one person at a time."
This week I read about three pastors who got together to share their hearts. And after a while the first one said, "I've got to tell you, I have a real problem with alcohol. I keep a bottle of brandy in my desk drawer and when I get stressed out I take a shot." The second pastor said, "Thanks for sharing that. I have a problem with pornography. When I get emotionally drained and need a rush I look at things that I know I shouldn't. And then I feel horrible." And the third pastor said, "Well, I appreciate you telling me those things. I know that was hard. But I've got a problem too. My problem is gossip and I can't wait to get out of here!"
It takes skill to live life. Wisdom is a good thing, Solomon says. It's wise to be wise. But don't expect life to fair because it's not. Life can get pretty random. But what do you expect living in a broken world that longs to be redeemed by the only person qualified to redeem it, Jesus Christ.