Weird: Because Normal Isn't Working


01/29/2012 - Time



"Are you ready? Yeah. Alright, sixty-second spot on time. Can I have a clock in the corner? It's there. Thank you. Roll 'em. Rolling. Action. Okay. Here's the deal. We all know that life is busy. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things that we want and need to do. In fact, you're probably thinking of all the things you need to do next week right now, wondering how you are going to squeeze it all in. But the fact is no matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how much is on your plate, we all have the same gift of twenty-four hours each day. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. All the money in the world won't let you buy one single second more than the next guy. And once that second is gone, it's gone. Forever. Look, there goes one right now. Another one. Gone. You think that we would judiciously use such a limited and valuable gift. You'd think that we would choose wisely how to spend, no, invest our time. But do we? Really? I mean after taking the time for eating and sleeping and all the other basic necessities do we really use this gift the way we should? Think of all the great things you could do in twenty-four hours, all the lives you could touch, all the significant changes that could be made in your life and others. The fact is you could actually make a difference in this world in twenty-four hours or not. So how are you investing your time?"

Wow! Every time I watch that I freak out! My heart rate elevates. That guy makes me nervous. I think I should just pray and we should all go home. We don't have time for this. We got to get busy!

We all know what's it like to have more to do in an hour or a day or a week then we have time for? We all know the feeling of being preoccupied and not being fully present? We all know what stress can do to our mind, body, and soul. Busyness is a thief that can rob us of the life that Jesus came to give us.

In fact, someone has said, "If the Devil can't make us really bad, then he'll try to make us really busy."

Today I want to jump right back into our Weird series because we can't afford to waste a single second. Or can we? Or should we? Normal says "No, we can't! They're too many good things we have to do." Weird says, "Yes, we must. They're too many good things we can't afford not to do."

In his book called Weird Craig Groeschel writes, "We live in a time-starved society that relentlessly pushes us to the limits. Buy more, do more, accomplish more, conquer more. Rush, rush. Hurry, hurry. More productive, more efficient, more expedient - more, more, more. It's insane what passes for normal today.

"Most people work far more hours than they used to (who works only forty hours anymore?), trying to get ahead, stay ahead, or simply survive. Our evenings or off times are crammed with activities - the kid's sports, music lessons, and, yes, church. Many families rarely have time to eat together. A typical family dinner now includes a round of Happy Meals from the drive-through in the fifteen minutes between dance and soccer practice.

"Even kids are overwhelmed today. I know many families with seven and eight year-old kids who, on top of homework and school, are out four or five nights a week doing extra-curriculars (not to mention the schedule they have to keep on the weekends). And in our culture that's normal - or even expected. We all want our kids to be well-rounded, don't we? We wouldn't want to deprive them of the lifestyle necessities that their friends have, would we?

"For many of us the schedules we impose on our children end up consuming us. If someone asked, 'Are you really enjoying your life?' most of us would have to say, 'No ... and I don't have time to talk about it!'

"We're always rushed, always on the move, never having enough time. Almost everyone I know has little room for error in their schedule. Tragically, most people have little time for the things in life that they would say are the most important to them. When we overschedule ourselves in the belief that we can do everything, we stop being human and try to become godlike - which is not only impossible but is incredibly arrogant. Most of us are living at a pace that is not only unsustainable. It is also thoroughly unbiblical."

I can relate to that. Can you? Especially the bit about becoming godlike. Did you hear what he said? "When we overschedule ourselves in the belief that we can do everything, we stop being human and try to become godlike - which is not only impossible but is incredibly arrogant."

Listen. If I can be completely honest with you I think the root of busyness, at least for me, is pride. It's arrogance. It's a feeling of grandiosity that feeds on the lie that somehow my life is measured by my accomplishments. And so the more I accomplish the more worth I have. And to accomplish things, lots of things, so that I have lots of worth, I need to get busy and to keep busy and to stay busy all the time. I need to keep producing. And I want you to know how busy I am because I'm an important person who is accomplishing a lot. That's sick!

Is there anything wrong with accomplishment? No. Not at all. It's good to accomplish things. Jesus accomplished a lot in the thirty-three years he was on this planet. Accomplishments are good. It's the unhealthy connection of accomplishment to our sense of worth that's not good and when it gets out of hand it can drive us away from the life that Jesus offers. All the good things we do can quickly become the enemy of the best.

There's a little story in the gospel of Luke that illustrates this. Jesus visits the home of Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus, the man he raised from the dead, and they were so excited to have Jesus and his disciples for dinner.

It goes like this in Luke 10:38-42, As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. Good things, I'm sure. She wanted everything to be just right for Jesus and his friends. There's nothing wrong with that. But the preparations overwhelmed her and pretty soon she was frustrated and angry and felt abandoned. She had a case of what I call "Marthamania."

And when she blew the whistle on her sister, Mary, Jesus stepped in and said, "Martha, time out! Chilax! Enough is enough! Come over here and sit down and let me serve you. Mary has chosen what's better and I'm not going to take it away from her."

I don't think Mary was being a load and looking for a way to get out of work. I think she probably helped Martha, but she knew when to stop. Mary seized the moment and chose to do what was best. Jesus was in the house and she wanted to listen to him. Everything else could wait. She may never get this chance ever again.

Mary embraced the moment to spend time with Jesus while Martha was distracted and preoccupied with all that she thought had to be done for Jesus. And they weren't bad things. I'm sure they were good things.

And that's the lesson here. Normal people allow good things to become the enemy of the best things. Normal people do normal things at a normal breakneck speed and never have enough time to do the most important things. Weird people make it a habit of choosing the best things over the good things. Weird people know how to slow down and make time for what's most important.

If we're going to sustain our "life in Jesus" for a lifetime we have to seize those moments, daily if we can, moments when we stop serving Jesus and other people, including our boss and our kids and our families, and allow Jesus to serve us, times to get quiet before him, to sit at his feet, and listen to what he says. Because if we don't we'll get frustrated and angry and look for somebody else to blame. We'll become Marthamaniacs.

So in the time we have left, I know the clock is ticking, let me talk about three ways to get a better handle on how to live in time because I believe that we always have enough time to do everything that God wants us to do. And if we don't then there's something wrong.

First, I think some of us need to learn a new conjunction. Instead of saying "and" we need to say "or." Can we say that together? "Or." Again. "Or." Saying "or" instead of "and" can help us get a handle on our schedule. Every good idea doesn't have to be implemented. Every good activity doesn't have to be put on the calendar. Every invitation doesn't have to be accepted.

When I go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, I'm tempted to eat everything that's displayed because everything looks so good and it's all included in one low price. And so I want to get my money's worth. In fact, I want to get more than my money's worth. But I know if I load up on everything someone is going to have to load me up into a car to take me home. It took me years to learn that!

When you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet you have to make choices if you're going to enjoy the meal and maintain your health. And that's the way life is. Life presents us with a buffet of choices every single day. Good choices, but always more choices than we have time for. Keeping an "or" in the water prevents our boat from filling up with too many good things that will ultimately sink the ship.

From the very beginning of this church one of our core values has been not to overload you with all kinds of activity that takes you away from your family and your kids and involvement in your schools and in your neighborhoods. Because we know that churches can do that. They can contribute to the insanity of normalcy. And so over the years there have been scores of people who have come into the Valley View community to heal from burned out church experiences. We want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Normal people keep adding items to their to-do lists. Weird people take things off their to-do lists so that the good does not become the enemy of the best. If we're going to stay on the narrow path that leads to life we have to make deliberate choices to keep our lives from being totally filled up.

Which is why I love what Henri Nouwen said, "The word 'discipleship' and the word 'discipline' are the same word. If we want to be a disciple of Jesus, if we want to live this life that Jesus came to give us we need discipline. Discipline is the decision to create some space in our lives in which God can act. It means preventing everything in my life from being filled up. It means that sometime, somewhere I'm not occupied or preoccupied. But I've created some space in which God can refresh me and do something in my life that I hadn't planned on or counted on." Learning the word "or" can help us create that space.

Second, we need to learn to live in the present. In his book Groeschel tells the story about going out to dinner and at the restaurant he noticed a family of four eating together nearby. And he thought, "Wow, it's great to see a family out enjoying some time together." When he glanced over way again, each of them had their head bowed and he thought, "That's cool. Now they're praying together for their meal." But when they kept looking down he saw them all texting on their cell phones. I don't know, maybe they were texting their prayer to God!

They were together, but they weren't present. Can anybody relate to that? In our iGadget world it's more of a challenge than ever to be fully present to the people we are with. There are so many distractions and diversions and interruptions. And as long as we stay busy our hearts and minds will find somewhere else to go.

Dalton Conley a sociologist at NYU says, "The line dividing work and leisure time is blurring right before our eyes ... and it's creating a phenomenon called 'weisure time.'" Weisure time takes us out of the moment.

The greatest gift that God ever gave to us was his presence. That's the miracle of Christmas. God wasn't content to stay distant. Instead, he wanted to become fully present in our world. So we read in John 1:1,14, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 14And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

The best gift I can give Jennifer is to be fully present and I'm not always very good at that. One of the most helpful sessions in the marriage course for me was the art of communication because in that session we talked a lot about barriers to communication and things that get in the way of our listening and the importance of reflecting back the thoughts and feelings of the other person so they know that they've been fully heard. Communication is the key to intimacy in any relationship and intimacy is the key to a healthy marriage. So wherever you are, be fully there.

Learn to say "or." Learn to be present. And third, learn to rest.

Weird people know how to rest. Jesus came to give us rest for our souls. Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest, Matthew 11:28.

God rested after six days of creation, not because he needed it. He wasn't physically tired. He rested because he wanted to model the value of rest as a pattern in our lives.

The fourth commandment in Exodus 20:8-10 is, Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work.

One day a week the people of God were to take a day off. They were to stop doing whatever they did for a living and rest and reflect and get refreshed. God wanted his people to have a healthy rhythm of work and rest in their week. And he built that rhythm into the Hebrew calendar as well. Throughout the year there were seven festivals with twenty-one additional days off for rest, reflection, and refreshment. And then every seventh year they were to give the land a year of rest from cultivation.

We don't rest because our work is done. Our work will never be done. We rest because God commands it and created us to need it. Keeping a Sabbath rest begins when we recognize that our true worth comes from God and our relationship with him, not from our busy schedules.

Just like giving is God's way to keep us from serving money. Sabbath keeping is God's way to keep us from serving time. We have to give time away like we give money away or else we will become a slave to it. That's weird. That's not normal.

Years ago, Tim Hansel wrote a book called When I Relax I Feel Guilty and in it he includes this poem by Orin Crain called "Slow Me Down, Lord." And I'd like to close by reading it to you.

Slow me down, Lord.
Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind.
Steady my hurried pace with a vision of the eternal reach of time.
Give me, amidst the confusion of the day, the calmness of the everlasting hills.
Break the tensions of my nerves and muscles with the soothing music of the singing streams that live in my memory.
Teach me the art of taking one minute vacations - of slowing down to look at a flower, to chat with a friend, to pet a dog, to smile at a child, to read a few lines from a good book.
Slow me down, Lord, and inspire me to send my roots deep in the soil of life's enduring values, that I may grow toward my greater destiny.
Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift and that there is more to life than increasing its speed.
Let me look upward to the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well.
Slow me down, Lord.

Weird people slow down. Weird people learn to say "or." Learn to be present. And learn to rest.

Questions of the Week

  • What was your response to the video that Bruce shared at the beginning of the teaching? What tensions do you think exist between the ideals of being productive and being balanced? What does balance look like to you?
  • How do you think our culture's attitude towards busyness has changed over time? How can we be sure that we're spending time on the right things?
  • Why do we need to spend time in rest? What does rest look like to you?
  • What are some challenges that churches sometimes create for busy people? How can we as a faith community encourage each other to live a balanced life?