The Healing Power of Love


02/20/2011 - Overcoming Depression



Baseball season has finally begun, at least spring training and I'm excited as are a lot of other Phillies fans. There has never been more anticipation of a World Series championship coming to Philadelphia than this season. This past Monday pitchers and catchers reported to Clearwater, Florida, and shortly after the four aces and Joe Blanton were interviewed. On Friday the position players arrived and yesterday they held their first full scale workout as a team.

Baseball season has started for our son, Jordan, as well. This past weekend his team, the St. Joe Hawks, opened their baseball season down in Norfolk,Virginia, with four games in the snow against Old Dominion University. They'll play over fifty games this season between now and the middle of May. That's a lot of baseball and he's excited about it and so are we.

Just to get me in the mood I recently finished a baseball book about Mickey Mantle's life called "The Last Boy and the End of America's Childhood." Mickey Mantle was a hero to a lot of kids who grew up in the 1950's and 60's when he played center field for the New York Yankees. Those were the glory days for the Yankees who were in the World Series almost every year and won most of them.

And Mantle was the best player on the team. In fact, many believe he was the best player in baseball at the time, certainly the greatest switch hitter. He played in sixteen All-Star games, won batting titles, home run titles, a gold glove, the Triple Crown, and three Most Valuable Player Awards. It seemed liked every kid who played baseball during those years wanted to be like Mickey Mantle.

That's what you saw on the outside, a hero on the baseball field. But there was different story going on on the inside. Mickey Mantle battled depression all his life and medicated himself with alcohol. He drank heavily throughout his baseball career and had numerous extra-marital affairs which eventually tanked his marriage and strained his relationship with his four sons all of whom became alcoholics as well. It's a tragic story of a pathetic man who went through life feeling so lonely, even when surrounded by adoring, cheering crowds.

Throughout the book you get windows into why Mantle battled such loneliness and failure. He felt like he could never live up to his father's expectations who wanted Mickey to be the greatest baseball player who ever lived. And while he respected and even adored his dad, calling him the most courageous man he ever knew, he lived to regret the fact that he never told his father that he loved him. That was one of the greatest heartaches of his life.

Mantle always believed that he was going to die young because all the men in his family did. His father and his grandfather worked in the mines of Oklahoma and both died of cancer after spending years inhaling lead and zinc dust. His father was only thirty-nine years old and died when Mickey was twenty. He only saw him play a few games in a Yankee uniform. Years later Mantle would say, "If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken a lot better care of myself."

Perhaps the biggest window into his lifelong struggle comes at the end of the book when he reveals in an interview that he was sexually molested multiple times at the age of four and five by an older half-sibling. He was the victim of sexual abuse and he never got help for it and instead lived with the anger and the shame and the guilt and the self-hatred the rest of his life.

As I read the biography of Mickey Mantle so many of the themes emerged that we've been talking about in our seriesThe Healing Power of Love. Themes of confession and forgiveness and reconciliation. A distorted image of self. The powerful effects of the pain and hurts of our past and the self-destructive ways we choose to deal with those wounds. Mantle battled depression all of his life and this morning I want to talk about depression and how we deal with it if and when it surfaces in our lives.

It's hard to find accurate statistics on depression. But this week I read that an estimated 33 to 35 million adults in America will experience some degree of depression at some point in their lifetime. Depression affects both men and women across all ages, races, and economic levels. However, women are twice as likely as men to develop severe depression. It's a battle that many women fight.

It's a battle that teenagers fight too. Teenaged depression is on the rise in this country and like depression in adults there are all kinds of reasons for it.

The black dog of depression is a complicated animal. There are many reasons it. There are genetic and temperamental factors that make certain families and individuals more prone to depression than other families and individuals. There are chemical causes to depression. A lack of certain brain chemicals called neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, hormones that control our moods can cause depression. Thankfully there are antidepressant medications that can boost those chemical levels and have helped millions of people take the edge off of their depression.

There are traumatic reasons as we just saw in Mickey Mantle's story, the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. Loss and grief can spiral down into depression. The loss of a pet or a friend or a family member, the breakup of a relationship, the stress of a parent's separation or divorce or remarriage can all cause depression to some degree.

There are categories of depression like major depression and chronic depression and seasonal depression and postpartum depression and bipolar depression and psychotic depression.

There are all kinds of varieties but the symptoms are pretty much the same. The common symptoms of depression according to the National Institute of Mental Health are difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions. Excessive fatigue and decreased energy. Feelings of guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, and pessimism. Irritability and restlessness. Loss of interest in activities and hobbies. Overeating or loss of appetite. Oversleeping or insomnia. Suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Now all of us feel sad or lonely or depressed at one time or another. That's normal. Feeling depressed is a natural reaction to loss and to life's struggles or an injured self-esteem. But when those feelings become overwhelming and last for long periods of time and keep us from living a normal, active life then we've fallen into the black hole of depression and we need to get help.

Depression is nothing new and it's not a sin that we need forgiveness for. It may be caused by a sin that's been committed against us or a sin that we've committed against someone else, but the feeling of depression is not wrong. You can find lots of examples of depression in the Scriptures.

Almost one-third of the 150 Psalms speak to symptoms of depression. They're called lament Psalms where the writer is basically saying, "Whoa is me! God, I don't get it? I don't get life? I don't get you? What's happening?" David, a man after God's own heart, writes most of them. He battled episodes of depression throughout his life with all the loss and the grief that he experienced.

Psalm 6 is one of them,Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. 2Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. 3My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long? 4Turn, Lord, and deliver me, save me because of your unfailing love. 5Among the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from the grave? 6I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. 7My eyes grow weak with sorrow. They fail because of all my foes.

David's depression has wracked his body. Whatever he's going through is taking its toll. We don't know the circumstances behind that lament Psalm. We don't know the circumstances behind most of the Psalms. And that's intentional so you can fill in your own name and your own set of circumstances that's causing you to flood your bed with weeping and drench your couch with tears.

Psalm 13 is another one,How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,4and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 5But I trust in your unfailing love. My heart rejoices in your salvation.6I will sing the Lord's praise for he has been good to me.

Sound familiar? Have you ever found yourself praying, "How long, Lord? How long? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" Again, we don't know the circumstances that prompted this anguished cry from David, but he was in deep grief. Yet what made him a man after God's own heart is what he says in verses five and six. He held on with white knuckled faith to the unfailing love of God and to the hope that one day he would get through this and be able to once again sing the praises of God's goodness.

When we're struggling with depression we're in good company. Some of the most spiritual people who ever lived struggled with depression. Many Bible scholars believe that Jesus struggled with depression at the end of his ministry when he wrestled with God in the Garden of Gethsemane.

At one point he rolls around in the dirt, sweats great drops of blood, and cries out in Matthew 26:38-39,My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death ... 39Abba Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet nevertheless not my will be done, but your will be done.

Jesus wrestled with God over the cross and the price he would pay for our sin, but at the end of the day he crossed over "the bridge of nevertheless." Yet nevertheless not my will be done, but your will be done. At that's a bridge all of us have to cross sooner or later if we're going to come to grips with the hard things in life that are out of our control and find peace with God.

In his book Healing for Damaged Emotions David Seamands has a lot to say about depression. He writes, "Depression is a common experience among Christians. And the first step to dealing with it is acknowledging it. By denying their depression, many Christians only add to their troubles. They add guilt on top of the depression and double their problem. Unfortunately, some of our Christian friends can be our worst enemies at this point, offering us false and unrealistic advice, like the standard roach letter.

"Depression is frozen rage. If you have a consistently serious problem with depression, you most likely have some unresolved anger in your life. So often the roots of depression are buried in the subsoil of early family life. And unless you learn to deal honestly with those angry roots, to face your resentment and forgive, you'll be living in a greenhouse where depression is sure to flourish."

It's very difficult to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourself when we're stuck in frozen rage. So if that's the cause of our depression how do we overcome it? Well at the risk oversimplifying a very complex subject let me give you a few time tested suggestions.

First, be honest with yourself and don't be afraid to acknowledge your feelings of depression. Like we've already said depression can happen to any of us at anytime for any number of reasons. And it doesn't mean we're any less spiritual. But if some of the symptoms that we described earlier have overwhelmed you and robbed your zest for life then pay attention to them and don't be afraid to admit that you might be struggling with depression.

Second, explore the reasons behind the depression. You can do this on your own or with a trusted friend or a trained professional counselor. This is really a step of reflection and confession and can take sometime. And in the process you may discover that you're dealing with a chemical imbalance or a genetic condition to which medication may be the answer. But you may also discover some other things as well.

There may be loss and grief that's triggered the depression. And sometimes the cause of the depression is obvious. It may be something you're going through right now and can quickly identify. It may be something done to you or some sin that you've committed. Or it may not be so obvious. It may be something that you did or went through years ago or a traumatic event that you experienced as a child. But there will be no emotional healing unless you examine the reasons behind the depression and take the necessary steps to deal with it.

And if it is more than a chemical imbalance or a genetic condition that can be treated with medication, if it is "frozen rage" that rage will only thaw through the power of confession and the freedom of forgiveness.

Third, be ready to forgive those who have wronged you. We've talked a lot about forgiveness in this series and here we go again. We talk about it a lot because it is so important to our emotional healing. Forgiveness is the active ingredient in the healing power of love.

Seamands writes, "Is there frozen anger somewhere in your life? Toward parents? Family members? Are you angry at God? So many people need to forgive God, not because He has ever done anything wrong, but because they've held Him responsible for all that's wrong in their life. It's time to face up to your true feelings and resolve them in an understanding of His love.

"You may need to forgive your marriage partner for past mistakes. But to forgive is also a present extension of grace to the person himself. Forgive your partner for just being the way he or she is - unable to meet all of your needs. Some of the most serious marital depressions arise when a husband or a wife thinks, 'But, God, I have a right to feel this way!' And when we say we have a right to feel cheated and resentful and betrayed, we are on the road to depression.

"You may be depressed because you hold on to anger and refuse to forgive people who have authority over you. They may have misused their authority. They may have done you wrong. But you need to forgive them. If you refuse, don't be surprised if you and depression become close companions.

"What happens to you is not as important as how you respond to what happens to you." Did you hear that? What happens to you is not as important as how you respond to what happens to you. We can't control what happens to us, but we can control our response to what happens to us.

How do we overcome depression? We start by being honest with ourselves if that's what we're struggling with. Then we explore the reasons behind the depression. And third, we forgive those who have done us wrong.

Ephesians 4:32, Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

And afterwards there are all kinds of way to manage the stress in our lives like proper diet and exercise, adequate sleep, times of worship and praise like this morning and enjoying life giving relationships with others in community.

There is one more part to the Mickey Mantle story that I was glad to read. Shortly before he died of liver cancer in 1995 he requested a visit from a former Yankee teammate named Bobby Richardson. Richardson had been the second baseman on many of those world championship teams. He was a strong Christian and after his baseball career actually became a minister.

After receiving a phone call from Mantle, he and his wife, Betsy, flew to Dallas, Texas, and went to the hospital where he was being treated. And at his hospital bedside they shared the good news of the love and grace and forgiveness of God with Mickey who put his faith in Jesus Christ and finally made peace with God. A few days later he was dead at the age of sixty-three.

And at his funeral Roy Clark played and sang "Amazing Grace", Bob Costas gave the eulogy, and Bobby Richardson delivered the message. And in it he said, "If Mick could hold a press conference from where he is today I know that he would introduce you to his true hero. The one who died in his place to give him not just a longer physical life but everlasting life, his Savior, Jesus Christ. And the greatest tribute that you could give Mickey today would be for you to receive his Savior too." What a great ending to a tragic story.


Questions of the Week

  • What do you think the Christian faith has to offer to those suffering from depression that is different from the help offered by other sources? What does a balanced approach to depression look like? How can we benefit from all of the resources that are available to those suffering from depression in a way that remains distinctly Christian?
  • What is your response to hearing the honesty portrayed in the Psalms of lament? What about these passages do you find surprising, challenging, or encouraging? How should these scriptures shape the way we think about depression?
  • Why do you think forgiveness is an important step to overcoming depression? How can we forgive when we're in the middle of that struggle?
  • What role does the faith community play in overcoming depression? How do you think we as a community can be a support and encouragement to those among us who are suffering from depression?