Ten Commandments for Today


09/22/2002 - Learning to be Content



Today we conclude our series called Ten Commandments for Today with a look at the final commandment found in Exodus 20:17. If you have a Bible turn with me to Exodus 20:17. The tenth commandment reads, You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

The final commandment that God thunders from the mountain warns us against coveting the stuff of other people and encourages us to learn to be content.

This week I heard a story about a guy who had a real problem with coveting. He had a lifelong dream of owning his own custom made Rolls Royce. So he ordered one and waited for months to have it made exactly according to all his specifications. He wanted it to have everything. Finally the day came when he picked it up and started driving down the street knowing that every body was looking at him. He tried to act cool like he didn't notice, but it felt so good.

He stopped at a red light and some guy pulled up next to him in shiny new sports car with dark, tinted windows so he couldn't see in. The guy in the sports car rolled down his window, so he rolled down his thinking he's going to say, "Nice car!" But instead he said, "You think you're hot stuff in that Rolls Royce don't you?"

The guy says, "You just wish you had one."

"No I don't. Let me ask you something. Do you got a TV in there?"

The guy says, "Yeah, I got a TV in here."

The guy in the sports car says, "So do I."

"Do you have a phone in there?"

"Of course, I have a phone in here."

The guy in the sports car says, "So do I."

"Do you have a fax machine?"

The guy in the Rolls Royce says, "Yeah, I got a fax."

"Well, so do I."

"Do you have a bar in there?"

"Of course, it's a Rolls Royce, I've got a bar in the back."

"Well, I do too."

"Do you have a fold out bed?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Well, no, I don't have a fold out bed."

And the guy in the sports car says, "Well, I do. Ha. Ha." And he laughs and zooms away.

And the guy in the Rolls is devastated. All this time he'd been longing for a custom made Rolls Royce with everything in it and now some little twerp in a sports car is laughing at him because he doesn't have a fold out bed. So he goes back to the manufacturer and says listen, "Can I get a fold out bed put in my Rolls?" And the manufacturer says, "Sure, but it'll cost you and it'll take about two months to install."

"Do it!"

So two months go by and the guy finally gets his Rolls back with the fold out bed.  And as soon as he does he goes out looking for the guy in the sports car. He sees him all the time around town and he can't wait to show it off.  Finally, he sees the sports car parked on the side of the street. So he pulls over and waits for the guy to come out to his car, but the guy never comes.

So finally he goes up to the sports car and bangs on the tinted glass window to see if the guys in there. Nothing happens. He can't see in. So he's about to leave when the window rolls down and the guy sticks his head out and says, "What? What do you want?"

The guy says, "Hey, do you remember me?"

"I don't think so. Why should I?"

"I'm the guy with the Rolls Royce!"

"Oh yeah, you're the guy with the Rolls Royce with no bed!" And he starts to roll the window back up.

And the guy says, "Wait a minute. I got a bed now. I've got a twin fold out bed with pillows and satin sheets. I can sleep in it. It's great. Do you want to see it?"

The guy in the sports car looks at him with disgust and says, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that!" Aren't we just like that? Never happy no matter what we have! And when we think we finally have it all, we see something more that we want.

This morning we come full circle with the Ten Commandments. In the first commandment God tells us to have no other gods before me.  "You want to get the most out of life? Then put me first above everything else." Now in the tenth commandment God completes the circle by telling us not to make our goods our god, not to turn things into idols that cause us to covet and always want more.

It's interesting to me that the only law in the universe that addresses coveting is God's law. Think about that. There's nothing on the books on the local, state or federal level that makes coveting a crime. In America we can be punished for murder and adultery, stealing and perjury, but we can covet all we want without breaking anybody's law except God's, because God's law deals with the issues of the heart.

In fact, it's coveting that drives the breaking of all these other commandments. Coveting another person drives adultery, coveting another's possessions drives stealing, coveting another's position drives the bearing of false witness. The tenth commandment is like a dagger that goes right to the heart. It's the commandment that seals the deal and removes any doubt that we have all broken God's law.

To help us unpack it today I'd like to ask and answer three simple questions that have helped us throughout this entire series. First, what does this commandment mean? Second, why is this commandment given? And third, how do we obey this tenth commandment of God?

First, what does this commandment mean? According to Webster's dictionary the word covet means "to wish for enviously, to desire what belongs to another inordinately or culpably." Now in simple English that means to want something real bad, something that's out of our reach to get.

And so God says in Exodus 20:17, "I don't want you coveting your neighbor's house or spouse, your neighbor's pool or SUV, your neighbor's place at the shore or cabin on the lake, your neighbors clothes, jewelry, vacations, your neighbor's marriage or kids, anything that belongs to your neighbor." Why? "Because it's out of your reach and to get it you'd have to do something illegitimate or illegal. So don't wish for it. Don't focus on it."

Now does that mean we can't admire something that our neighbor or our friend has?  No. We can admire without having to acquire everything we like. "That's a nice minivan you have. I'm so glad you got it, because your family's growing and you need the room." "I'm so glad you're going to Disney World. Have a ball. I'd love to take my family there someday. It should be great this time of year." It's healthy to admire without having to acquire.

But if we really want something our neighbor has? We don't want to take his stuff, but we just want to get stuff like it?  Is there anything wrong with that? No. Not if what we want is in our reach to get.

Let's say your friend has a real nice entertainment center. You were over their house the other night and saw it and liked the sound and the size of the TV and DVD player and thought, "You know. I'd like to get something like that someday. That would be nice." You don't want to steal your friend's stuff, so you ask where he got it.

Then you go home and talk it over with your wife and she says, "As long as we take care of some of these other things first and then save the money for it I think that's okay." So you take care of those other things and then you start putting money aside and checking the Sunday paper for sales at Best Buy and Circuit City.  And if you're like me you start reading Consumer Reports and doing the research on the best brands for the best price. Maybe you even tell your wife, "Don't get me any Christmas presents this year. This is going to be all I want."

Finally, you got the money saved up and you find a really good deal and you go out and buy it and bring it home and set it all up and it doesn't work! No. It works. In fact, it works great and so you invite all your friends over to watch Monday Night Football and you have a blast! Now, is there anything wrong with that? No, there's nothing wrong with that, because that was something that was in your reach to get and you went about it the right way.

This commandment is not talking about desiring things that we admire and then going out and purchasing them. It's talking about wanting things that are out of reach for us, things that we drool over and just can't have. For instance, there's nothing wrong with wanting a wife. That's a good thing, the Bible says. But if you want your neighbor's wife, that's a problem!

There's nothing wrong with wanting a spouse, a house, a car, a raise, or anything else that's legitimate. It is only wrong to desire those things when your circumstances put them out of your reach. That's coveting.

Here's a little test to see if you're coveting something. You know you're coveting something your friend or neighbor has if you know that you would get some secret satisfaction if they lost what it is you want.  Today, the Eagles play the Dallas Cowboys. I don't like the Dallas Cowboys. I'm an Eagles fan, because God's an Eagles fan! And I get a secret satisfaction every time Dallas loses. Why? Because for four years I lived in Dallas, Texas, when they were America's team and had the swagger and were winning Super bowls. And I coveted that success for my team. So I love it when they lose. I'll admit it. I'm a coveter at heart.

Now that I'm confessing my sins let me get it all out on the table. I feel the same way about the Los Angeles Lakers and the New York Yankees.  I'm sorry, but I do. And I think God does too because I know he's a Sixers and a Phillies fan! Now if you like one of these teams, you don't have to leave the church.  The cross covers all those sins too!

But that's the test. We know we're coveting something someone else has when we get a secret satisfaction at their loss or misfortune. We know we're coveting someone else's marriage when we rejoice inside when we hear they're having trouble. So that's what the commandment means. Don't desire something that is out of your reach to get.

Second, why is this commandment given?  What's wrong with wanting something I can't have, wanting something that's out of my reach? Remember these are the tender commandments given to us by a God who loves us more than anyone ever will. He's a God who proved his love by sending his only Son to die for us so that we can have life through faith in him. So, as with all these commandments, God must be telling us this for our own good, for our own well being and enjoyment in life.

Let me give you three reasons why God doesn't want us to covet. First, coveting hurts other people. When we covet someone's stuff or someone's marriage we start to not like them and if we think about it too much we might want to see them hurt in some way. And if we go the full route we might be the one that causes them harm by slandering them or by stealing from them or by damaging them in some way. That's the first reason why God says, "Stop!"

It's what James talks about in James 4:1-3, What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Second, coveting hurts us. Coveting robs us of our joy. It keeps us from appreciating all the good things that we do have. It steals the pleasure from our successes. It prevents us from ever being satisfied with our house and our spouse and our job and our car and our life. It can cause us to go through life miserable.

I love what King Solomon, the richest man who ever lived, said in Ecclesiastes 5:10-12 (NLT), Those who love money will never have enough. How absurd to think that wealth brings true happiness! The more you have, the more people come to help you spend it. So what is the advantage of wealth-except perhaps to watch it run through your fingers! People who work hard sleep well, whether they eat little or much. But the rich are always worrying and seldom get a good night's sleep.

I'll never forget that night at the kitchen table when my Dad came home late from work and I was just about to go up to bed. I was a teenager at the time and in a moment of unusual transparency he said, "You spend your whole life working hard to make money. And then after you've made it. You spend the rest of your life worrying about how to protect it and it never ends." There was a sadness in his voice and at some level that night I made a decision inside that I wasn't going to live my life that way.

There's a danger in having too much. The more you have, Solomon says, the more you worry about protecting it and saving it and investing it and insuring it and paying taxes on it and not losing it. It robs your sleep. Studies show that insomnia increases with income. But the person who's content sleeps well at night.

The Bible doesn't condemn wealth. Lots of godly men and women in the Bible were extremely wealthy. The Bible doesn't condemn money. Money is a good thing. It's the love of money that's the root of all kinds of evil and coveting more and more stuff hurts us. It steals our joy and robs our appreciation for what do have.

Third, coveting hurts our relationship with God. Ultimately it makes us dissatisfied with God. When we covet something some how we feel that God's let us down. He hasn't met our expectations. He doesn't really care about us. We say to ourselves or even out loud, "God you're not enough to satisfy me. You don't deserve to be first in my life. You're not YHWH the great 'I AM.' You haven't been there for me. You haven't given me what I want." And then we go out and make something else our God. It can be our career or pleasure or another person or ourselves. Coveting is a sign that something is gone wrong in our relationship with God.  And so God in his love comes to us in this commandment and says, "Don't do it.  Don't hurt others, don't hurt yourself, and don't hurt our relationship by coveting."

Now third, how do we obey this commandment of God? How can we keep ourselves from coveting? How can we learn to be content?

First, think rightly. The truth is that things don't make us happy. How often do we think, "If only I had that thing or that person I'd really be happy!" That statement is just not true. If you're not happy and content with what you have right now, you're not going to be happy and content with that thing that you really want.

Oh, you may get excited about things for a few days or a few weeks or maybe even a few months, but then that excitement fades, it always does. The new car smell never lasts. When we get the bed installed in the Rolls, then we want the shower. Remember how excited you were about the gifts you got last Christmas? Now who can remember the gifts you got last Christmas?

Things don't bring lasting happiness. After the glitter and the shine wear off, we get bored with them. Why? Because things don't change. We change. Our tastes change. Our styles change. Our interests change. And pretty soon we need to redecorate or remodel or repair or replace or at least rearrange what we have.

Jesus put it this way in Luke 12:15 (NLT), Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own.    Don't confuse net worth with self-worth.

Someone has said, "Remember to measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take any amount of money."

When you're tempted to want something that's out of reach, remind yourself that having it won't make you any more content than you are now.

Second, resist comparison. Comparing always leads to coveting. Paul says in Galatians 6:4, Each of you should test your own actions.  Then you can take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to somebody else.   

We all need to learn how to admire without having to acquire. We don't have to own something to enjoy it. If the only things we enjoy are the things we own, we're going to be miserable most of the time. Someone has said, "The grass is always greener on the other side, but the water bill's higher too." Everything has a price. 

This summer I was invited to a gorgeous home with the largest private in ground swimming pool I'd ever seen. It was beautiful. It was an historic old farmhouse that the couple had restored and it sat on a back road surrounded by lots of ground and trees. And I got to admit the thought did cross my mind that it would be nice to live here. But I enjoyed a refreshing swim and afterwards the man said, "We might be selling this place." I said, "Selling it? Didn't you just move in this year?" He said, "Yeah we did. And we worked like dogs and put a ton of money into this place, but I'm not sure we need all this. And it was hard on our marriage." Then he started telling me about all the people he's known who've been divorced while they were building their dream houses. And that almost happened to him. It caused a lot of stress. 

Don't be fooled by what others have. Everything has a price. Which is way Proverbs 15:16 says, Better a little with the fear of the Lord, than great wealth with turmoil.

Third, rejoice in what you do have. If you're a believer in Jesus Christ the most important thing you have is a personal relationship with God. Put God first in your life. Next is your relationship with your family and then your friends and other believers in Christ. And after all that comes your stuff, which is a gift from God to you.

Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NLT), It is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life-that is indeed a gift from God.

Every good thing in your life has come to you from God and he wants you to enjoy it.  But we can never enjoy it if we only ever want more.

Finally, release what you have to others. There's no better defense against coveting than giving. Which is why God says, "Give to me the first fruits of your income." Giving breaks the grip that money and things and stuff can have on our life.  Jesus said in Acts 20:35, It is more blessed to give than to receive.  You will have no contentment in your life until you start giving. Giving releases the power that things have over our lives.

So that's how the Ten Commandments end with a warning not to let anything get in the way of our relationship with God. Don't make goods our God. Instead, keep him first.