Finding the Love of Your Life
04/18/2004 - The Debt of Love
In his book Everybody's Normal Till You Get To Know Them John Ortberg tells the story about a man who wandered into a small antique shop in San Francisco one day. The store was cluttered with knickknacks and junk, but on the floor he spotted what looked like an ancient Chinese vase. He picked it up and discovered that it was a priceless relic from the Ming dynasty worth a fortune. And it looked like the owner had no idea how valuable it was because the vase was sitting on the floor, filled with milk, with a cat drinking from it.
All of the sudden the man realized that he had the opportunity to make the deal of a lifetime. So he went up to the owner and said, "That's a beautiful cat you have there. I'd love to have her. How much would you sell her for?"
The owner said, "Oh no, that cat's not for sale. She keeps the place free from mice."
The man said, "Oh, but I really would need to have that cat. Would you take a hundred dollars for her?"
The owner laughed and said, "She's really not worth a hundred dollars, but if you want her that badly, she's yours." So he gave the owner a hundred bucks.
But then he added, "I'm also going to need something to feed her from as well. What if I throw in another ten bucks for that saucer she's drinking from?"
The owner said, "Oh, I could never do that. That saucer is actually an ancient Chinese vase from the Ming dynasty. It's my prized possession and worth a fortune. Funny thing, though, ever since I've put it on the floor, I've sold seventeen cats!"
What is something actually worth? We don't always know for sure, do we? When I was a kid I collected baseball cards, that's the only thing I ever really collected. I kept them in a shoebox for years in my parent's damp, musty basement until I discovered that those cards could put my three kids through college some day. So I rescued them from the basement and took them to a baseball card show where I found out that they could pay for one child's college tuition for about three weeks not including room and board! They weren't worth as much as I thought they were.
The ability to assign worth and value to something or someone is one of the rarest and most precious gifts in the world. And people who live deeply in community have learned the worth and value of other human beings. People are important to them, more important than anything else in life.
They understand that every person really has two tags. One tag says, "as is" and the other tag says, "made in the image of God." They realize that every person is slightly irregular in some way, but is also loved by a God who calls them his prized possession worth a fortune.
This morning we continue our series called Finding the Love of Your Life with a teaching I've called "The Debt of Love." If we're going to become better lovers, which is what this series is about, then we need to understand the worth and value of every human being and how much we ourselves have been forgiven by God. That is the message behind one of the greatest encounters Jesus ever had with an "as is" person in the New Testament.
If you have a Bible turn to Luke 7:36-50, Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table.
One day Jesus is invited by a Pharisee named Simon to come to his house for dinner. Sounds like a great idea so he goes. Jesus didn't get too many invitations into the homes of Pharisees. Now to appreciate what's about to unfold in this story we need to understand some rules of etiquette in that culture.
As a visiting rabbi Jesus should have been treated as the guest of honor. In that culture all guests were welcomed with a kiss on the cheek and honored guests were given a kiss on the hand.
In fact, not to kiss a guest would be like inviting somebody over to your house for dinner, but not getting up off the couch, opening the door, or saying hi to them when they arrived. It would be downright rude and an insult to an honored guest.
Guests would also have their feet washed. In that culture, people wore open toed sandals and they walked through dust and dirt and dung and garbage that littered the streets. So it was necessary before eating a meal to wash your feet. Servants washed the feet of most guests, but the host himself would wash the feet of the guest of honor unless he really wanted to be rude then he would just put a bowl of water out and expect the guests to wash their own feet. Which would be like expecting your dinner guests to wash their own dishes after they ate.
But a host that really wanted to treat his guests well would also provide olive oil for an anointing. The olive oil acted like a perfume to neutralize the smell of body odor and sweat. It was a refreshing gesture.
But in this story, Jesus gets nothing. By this time in his ministry he's a well-known rabbi with an international following. Yet Simon gives him no kiss, no greeting, no water for his feet, no anointing for his head. This is not an oversight on Simon's part. This is a deliberate slap in the face and everybody at the dinner table knows it.
In his comments on this passage Kenneth Bailey writes, "The insult to Jesus has to be intentional and electrifies the assembled guests. War has been declared and everyone waits to see how Jesus will respond." The tension in the room is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
Now in that culture houses were much less enclosed than they are here and dinners like this were often public events. They'd be dining in an open courtyard where anybody could walk by and watch and listen to what was going on. And somebody does. And that somebody is a woman, a well-known prostitute in that town. And this is where things start to get dicey.
Prostitutes in that day were not very well thought of, especially by Pharisees who were considered the religious elite. Prostitutes were usually slaves who had been either captured in war or abandoned as infants and then raised to be part of the sex trade. They were objects, commodities to be bought and sold. No decent person would speak to this woman, acknowledge this woman, or care one bit about this woman. There were no doors of opportunity open to her. The only doors that opened for her opened at night, in secret and in shame.
But apparently, she had heard Jesus teaching, maybe even earlier that day. And for the first time in her life she heard that God loves her and longs for her and cares about her like his own daughter. All her life this woman had been used and abused and rejected. But when she hears Jesus teach, for the very first time she understands that she's not rejected by God. She has value. She has worth. She can be forgiven. And it's not too late for her to have a whole new life.
Somehow she hears that Jesus is attending a dinner. So she searches all over town to find him and when she finally sees him in the courtyard of Simon's home it takes her breath away. She stands out of view in the archway and watches.
She sees how Jesus is dissed by Simon. She watches as the only person who has ever given her hope is ignored and insulted. She sees his dirty feet. He's the only one at the table with dirty feet. The other guests are sitting around waiting for Jesus to retaliate in some way. Maybe even leave in huff. But he doesn't. Instead, he accepts the humiliation graciously. No one sticks up for him. No one comes to his aid. And finally the woman can't stand it any longer. She musters up all the courage she's got and does the unthinkable.
Now look at verse 37, When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
This woman of the night steps out of the shadows and right into the spotlight of this stuffy, high-powered gathering of religious elite. She stands behind Jesus who is reclining at the table with his feet stretched out and starts to wash them with her tears and wipe them with her hair. And immediately every eyeball in the place is riveted on her. "The nerve of this slut. What is she doing? What is he doing letting her do what she's doing?"
Tears are rolling down her checks and dripping off her chin onto the feet of Jesus. Tears of sadness for the old life she has led. Tears of gratitude for the forgiveness she has felt. Tears of joy for the new life that is just beginning.
As a symbol that she's leaving her old life behind she takes a flask of perfume from around her neck, perfume that in her profession was used for her clients to make her work a little less unpleasant, and she empties it to show that she's pouring out her old way of life. She anoints Jesus feet and kisses them over and over again.
Then she breaks another rule of social etiquette and let's down her hair to dry his feet. Women in that culture never let their hair down in mixed company. That was considered way too provocative. In fact, if a married woman let her hair down in front of a man other than her husband, it was grounds for divorce.
This woman had let her down lots of times for lots of different men, but this would be her last time. This time she's getting it right. And with her own hair she wipes the feet of Jesus.
Simon is watching his dinner completely fall apart thinking, "This is not good. This is the kind of stuff that ends up on the front page of tabloids. I can't believe this is happening. If this man were really a prophet he would know who this woman is and wouldn't let her touch him with a ten-foot pole."
But Jesus knows who the woman is and he knows who Simon is. And he wonders if there is any way to get Simon to see the value of this person. She's not a prostitute, she's not a slave or a sex object, she's a human being loved by God and worthy of respect. So he seizes the moment to tell a story.
Look at verse 39, When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is-that she is a sinner." 40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. 41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
Verse 43, Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." What a condescending answer!
Jesus says in verse 43, "You have judged correctly." Give that man a cigar! Then comes one of the greatest conversations in the Bible.
Look at verse 44, Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
Jesus turns to the woman, but keeps talking to Simon. He does that so Simon will have to look at her. "Look at this person that you despise, Simon. I want you to see her as a prized possession worth a fortune."
Verse 48, Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." And the woman's heart explodes with joy and gratitude. That's why she loves so outrageously. She's in touch with her brokenness and with her need for forgiveness. The one who is forgiven much loves much. The one who is forgiven little loves little.
In his book Ortberg says, "This teaching of Jesus stands in striking contrast with the thoughts of our day. We think of people having the capacity to love who have mostly gotten life right-healthy people with high self-esteem and low regret factors. Normal people. There is no such thing, dear. Jesus says the great lovers are those who have come face-to-face with their own brokenness and have been undone by God's great grace."
But think about it. Who's really the bigger debtor in this story? Is it this woman who lived a life of prostitution? Or is it Simon this pompous religious leader whose lips won't kiss, whose knees won't bend, whose eyes won't weep, whose hands won't serve, whose perfume will never leave the jar? His is the sin of a cold heart that won't break, a life that won't change, a soul that won't love. That is the greater debt. "Simon, don't you see? You have the biggest debt of all."
If only Simon could see it! Then he would fall on the ground beside this woman. If only he could feel the pain of his pride and arrogance. Then he'd be overwhelmed by the fact that Jesus loves him even in the midst of all his lovelessness. If only his tears would flow like hers. Then Simon would realize that he's in the same boat with this prostitute. She needs God's grace for a heart that's broken. He needs grace for a heart that's hard.
The story ends in verse 49, The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" 50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
This prostitute has known lots of emotions in her lifetime, fear, guilt, hurt, anger, shame, loneliness, but peace? Never. But that's the power of love. And that's the power that you and I have to give to another human being when we learn to value every person as a prized possession worth a fortune. And it starts with our own brokenness over how much we've been forgiven.
Dale Galloway tells the story of a young boy named Teddy Stollard. He wasn't the kind of kid who got invited to parties. He looked bored most of the time. He only spoke when spoken to and even then in one-syllable words. He never dressed right, looked right and wore smelly clothes. He didn't do well in school. In fact, when the teacher would mark Teddy's papers she got a twisted kind of thrill marking all the wrong answers and putting a big fat "F" on top of the page. She should have known better, because his history was on record.
In first grade, Teddy had been a good boy and showed promised, but had a poor home situation. In second grade, Teddy was quiet and withdrawn. His mother was terminally ill. In third grade, Teddy was falling behind. His mother died that year and his father was uninvolved. In fourth grade, Teddy was hopelessly backward. His father had moved away and he was living with an aunt and deeply troubled.
Christmas came and all the children in Teddy's class brought gifts to school to give to the teacher. They were all nicely wrapped, some with big, bright bows, except for Teddy's package. It was in a brown paper bag and not quite held together by tape.
One by one his teacher, Miss Thompson, would open the gifts for the whole class to admire. When she opened Teddy's gift she found a rhinestone bracelet with most of the stones missing and a bottle of perfume that was almost empty. The other kids started to laugh, but Miss Thompson caught herself. Snapping on the bracelet, she said, "Isn't it lovely, class? And doesn't the perfume smell good?"
At the end of the class, Teddy stayed after and said, "I'm glad you liked my gifts, Miss Thompson. All day long you smelled like my mother. And her bracelet looks nice on you, too."
After he left, his teacher put her head down on the desk and cried. She asked God to forgive her and prayed that God would help her to see what he sees when he looks at a motherless boy. The next day, when the children came back to school, Miss Thompson was a new teacher. She tutored the children who needed extra help, Teddy most of all. And by the end of the year he had caught up with most of his classmates and was even ahead of some. After that, she didn't hear from Teddy for quite a while until one day she received a note.
Dear Miss Thompson, I wanted you to be the first to know I am graduating from high school, and I am second in my class. Love, Teddy Stollard
Four years later came another note. Dear Miss Thompson, I wanted you to be the first to know I am graduating from college first in my class. The university has not been easy, but I liked it. Love, Teddy Stollard
Four years later, another note came. Dear Miss Thompson, I wanted you to be the first to know that as of today I am Theodore J. Stollard, M.D. How about that? I want you to come sit where my mother would have sat, because you're the nearest thing to family that I've had. Love, Teddy Stollard
The ability to assign worth and value is one of the rarest and greatest gifts in the world. May God help all of us to value what God values and to understand how much we've all been forgiven.